#16. Mute

Apparently, I am not a cautious speaker. I speak without thinking. So, I should stop talking as much as possible.

#15. Come Back

Decided to resume blogging after a long time.. Not really long actually.


While I've been away, I've discovered my hidden self, tried to change things, get over some people & matters, know my blind self, still under the process to change it.


Well, I realised I can't continue living in this world without changing myself. I can only either change or adapt. Adapting seems to be the way out. I can deal with myself well. These changes of myself may upset some people, may bring smiles to others. Anyway, they bring relief and other good emotions to me.


不做别人的负担，要独立，别再做包袱。
Gonna work on this.

I know things cannot be compared, but who can live without being compared? Every kid out there has to be compared against.

You just want to be yourself and you go against the world. Actually, what will you get doing that? The compliments from the world that you're unique? The satisfaction 'cause you're different? If you're able to survive under that circumstance, go ahead. But you failed to. 墙头草有它的好处。至少它有其它人当背垫。It may be immoral to think this way, but I feel better when knowing I'm not the only one suffering, don't you?


Maybe this is the result of watching too much dramas..近朱者赤，近墨者黑嘛~~ However, they still make sense to me. I wish to stay sane after the vacation. I can feel my brain nerves trying to overthrow me. It is good to day dream but not 放空; troubles are getting themselves comfortable and centralised seats in my brain theatre. That's why I am sleeping more than 15 hours a day. 也是为什么我只想把寿命缩短到二十年后。我活在世界上也只是浪费资源，没有任何的长远目标，只想回报父母。


Marriage is not expected. Not because I'm from broken family. I don't think I can handle more advanced relationships with people anymore. It's tired to keep up to them, giving what they want. It's difficult to fulfil them. I can't even fulfil myself, giving myself the things I want, what makes me think that I can reciprocate the other person? There are good people around, but I feel old and tired. 我已经没心思搞那些年轻人的把戏了。你的好意我放在心里就好，会好好的珍藏的。在生命悄悄离开时，我会打开那个枷锁，想想其实人生没什么好遗憾的，因为我曾经拥有过。


知足长乐。

新年；第十四章

大家好！新年快乐！！

刚刚和朋友一起去倒数新年！ 烟火超漂亮的！！ 每次看到烟火都好感动哦~~

很抱歉不能留下和他们谈天，但可以一起看烟火已经很幸福啦~

哈哈！

最近去了中二班级的聚会，四天三夜，在度假屋里度过，很开心大家能聚在一起。虽然都在不一样的学校，大家之间的关系都没有被影响到（：哈哈，希望大家能把着份友情维持到老！

:D

Went for movie marathon during the chalet!

Mission impossible and The Darkest Hours

These movies got my heart beating faster.

Really appreciated all I owned, like what SH had said, these memories are the ones keep me going on..

I will hold on to them dearly and push myself to make better ones.

Hahas, just realised that WJ is cute(: Like a small kid. Maybe they have changed, but they still have a kid in them, some little beings who cause them to act abnormally, but that is utterly cute, hahas!

Actually, I have remembered to remind myself to take a picture with I, perhaps the guilt of spilling the drink stopped me from taking any actions.

I hope TPF and her boy will last longer than the end of world..?

PEOPLE! HAPPY NEW YEAR, IT'S 2012!

My resolution for this year?

I don't have resolution for any year actually..

But I hope I can make lesser mistakes which have been made, create lesser troubles for people, solve my own problems entirely, 少让人发脾气。。。

That's all for now..i guess

Anyways, Aud. bought awesome xmas gifts for me(:

Lappy sleeves, masks, facial peeling toner, notebook, pouch and letter(;

Will cherish them much!

&& I've started using the notebook as diary, will still try to update this space too!

So that I can keep track of who I used to be when I'm old and feeble!

HHAHAHS(: If I'm still alive then!

凌晨；第十三章

事事难料，谁能料到下一秒星星会不会坠落。

就像谁也不能知道平静的她在承受这种折磨。

从什么时候，她已经坠入这样的无底洞，逃不出了？

仙,不一样吧，希望如此。

她需要他在身旁打气，但他知道吗？

我已经在放弃的边缘，不想再信人了。

这几个星期发生了好多事-与我有关无关的，都占据我的意识。

已经不能再承担了，也许这是为了解释昨晚爆发的理由。

但那好可怕，把自己也吓倒了。

表面上我们看起来是开心，无忧无虑的。。。

但实际上，我们想太多，把不应该知道的都塞进脑里。

知道少一些是好的，至少我能继续过我的生活，好好地过。

It doesn't fail to depress me when I hear that from you. Can't you pick yourself up?

You can't? So why do you even start it in the first place?

你比我相像中懦弱。

You are becoming the one whom you detest.

有个他和她。

他祝她生日快乐。

他和她从那天开始聊天。

他还喜欢她吗？

她对他有好感。

他在等她吗？

她害怕。

他想了解她的恐惧吗？

她在烦恼。

他会对她好吗？

她在疏远他。

他会放手吗？

她松手了。

也许世上少了她，会有另一个她让他来关心。

自身自灭？

随便你。

祝福他。

明年会更好。

会让它更好。

乱；第十二章

**叹气中**

真是的，无论我做什么都是错的，我很笨吗？

我听懂了，但我不想。我就不能照着自己想要的方式度过假期吗？

真的好乱，有朋友也烦，没有也烦，九成是我太笨，不会处理这种关系。。。所以我就说了嘛：有家人和朋友就够我烦的了，如果我还有其他的人际关系需要维持，我会把自己关在厕所里。

她有理由不去，你不怪她，我也有理由，你跟全世界说我不陪你。

人要爱自己才可靠。因为除了自己，没有人会永远陪着你，不离不弃地陪着你。

**叹气-ing**

快变老人了啦！！

烦死了！

为什么都这么久了，还是没消息？我需要工作啊！要不然哪里可以读完三年的理工学院？？

为什么一直吵架？我都听烦了。。。要么就当面骂，要不就别理他，干吗一直吵？Arrrrggggg~

我要当宅女！！！我要一辈子呆在家里，不要出去了！

我太胆小懦弱了！

*神经病。。。

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊~~~~

希望下个星期还有晚宴，要不就没饭碗了。。。娘啊！~~~~

"发红“； 第十一章

星期六去了圣淘沙~ 把自己晒的像煮熟的龙虾，已经三天了。。。皮肤还是红红的。。还有眼镜的形状，难看惨了。

还有，我想承认一件事，现在是七月，但。。。我忘了。。还在海里检了不该检的东西，还拿来玩。。”汗“

对不起啊！~ 真的不是故意的TT_TT

星期天和疯子一家出门去疯了~ 从北部疯到西部去 xD

.

..

...

..

.

发如雪，我焚香感动了谁~

This song brings back memories~

Infatuation, I hope.

Will be fine soon.

Cya till then(:

Notes: Think before talking..seriously...

混乱；第十章

也许到头来错的人是我，我太自私了。

希望这样的抉择对你比较好，you deserve a better friend, really.

觉得自己好废，希望可以快点做完全部的作业！

Bye!~